Tag: God

Love

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey, Relationship

I don’t really talk much about my relationship.

It’s because I’m so in love that I quite put it into words. My husband is the most wonderful man I have ever known. I truly love him.

So who’s rib was I made from? I’ve been married before and I’ve been in other relationships before. So with that being said who was the one I was meant to be connected to?

I realize how differently my relationship is so different from other relationships that I see and I always wonder is mine good different or bad different?

Since our relationship started with us being together 24/7, we rarely do anything without the other. My husband opens doors for me all the time, I mean all the time. I don’t take out trash, do any yard work, my car is always washed and most importantly he tries to understand my emotional needs. (You know as women we are very complex).

My life with my husband is beautiful, and spiritual. Of course we have disagreements like any other couple but we try to not let it go on too long.(I get mad extremely). He is so easy going with a real easy going nature, while I’m going through the house yelling at the top of my lungs. (That’s me and I’m working on it)

I’m in love, but it makes me wonder am I his rib? Did I pick the wrong husband the first time and then God stepped in and pointed me in the direction that I should go in?

I believe so because we are equally yoked, which is the most important thing. The one for us is out there unless God designed it for us to be alone for His glory (or because you have issues and can’t keep a man.

There is nothing wrong with love, but not only are we suppose to have unconditional love for those closes to us but also to one another. Love actually makes the world go round (I know it also makes some people crazy). Love is what God wants us to show each other. We love saying it but do we actually mean it?

I believe we should start learning in loving each other more than ever know. The world today is filled with such hate and turmoil that this is the only thing that we can do to fix ii.

So love one another.

Peace and Love,
Deidre

Music

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

Something has been strongly on my mind today… music.

If you know me, then you know that I love music. All types as long as it has a melody I can find something about it that I enjoy. Don’t even get my started on a nice drum or guitar rift…

But in my spiritual walk, I’ve been told that I can’t listen to the music that I once listened to. Is this right or wrong?

Now everyone knows that music is universal. It transcends color lines, economic status, and cultures. So when it comes to secular music vs. gospel music what is more important, the point that it is sung by a none gospel artist, that it isn’t in the gospel music genre, or is it more about the lyrical content?

To me music is more about lyrical content then anything else. I know many people will and can dispute this, but please think before you speak.

I like music that has a conscious message. I don’t really care who sings it or what genre it comes from. I love music that opens my eyes to the world. Do you remember John Lennon song “Imagine”? That song is absolutely amazing!!

To me it speaks to a christians heart, but of course this isn’t considered a Christian song now is it?
Do you realize how many songs Michael Jackson did that had messages behind them? Here’s one line everyone should remember “If you can’t feed your baby, then don’t have a baby”, so simple.

But yet I’m told that this type of music isn’t pleasing to Gods ears.

Once again I’m trying to become the best christian that I can be, but since I’ve started on this journey I’ve come to realize that some things that I used to think doesn’t sit well with me anymore. It doesn’t go with the things I’ve had conversations with Jesus and God about.

The music thing is big on my list because it is something that is important to me, when I’m happy, sad, or even mad, music has a way of making me see things that I didn’t see before I heard certain song. I love the way some songs make me think outside of myself or they make me feel like I can be more than I am. Music does that for me.

God places things, people, and situations in our lives to teach us things. We are not all reached by God the same way. He reaches us however and wherever He can. Maybe music and writing is the way He reaches me.

Who knows? What do you think?

Peace and Love,
Deidre

Life

by deidreswain, posted in Uncategorized

Easter is over and now the pretty dresses and suits have been put away to come again on Mother’s Day when Mother’s all over the world beg their sons and daughters to come to church with them.

But I digress.

So I’m not just a spiritual person (or trying my hardest to be). I live life. A real one with real problems.

I don’t try to run or hide from them, I do pray about them and hope that I hear the answer that God gives me, even though sometimes I don’t (I’m not the best listener).

My question is how do you know that you are doing what God wants you to do? How do you know the things you say are right? How do you know that God actually wanted you in the place you work or the career you are in? Seriously how do you know? Is it because it feels right to you? Is it because you prayed and you “felt” that God had answered your prayers?

If you are broke, and you find $20 on the ground is that money God wanted you to have or did you just pick up something that someone else had dropped? Does that make it yours? Did God want that person to drop their hard earned money so you could pick it up and swear it was a blessing?

Now I’ve done things like that before so I’m not judging anyone. I know that I struggle with my wants and Gods wants. I never know how well I’m actually listening to myself because I want it so bad or if He is actually telling me this is what I should be doing.

I was told that this early in my spiritual world that I shouldn’t be blogging. I beg to differ, it could be because this is what I want or maybe God wants be to write so I will never forget my journey.

Today I found my bucket list from 2012. I only had 4 items on it. One of them was to have a blog and be consistent. I’m finally doing what I prayed I would do it and feel good about everything I’m writing.

I think I am accomplishing that and that God wanted me to do that at the right moment in my life.

So is God actually talking to you or do you only think you hear him.

Easter Part 3

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

So tomorrow morning many will be getting up before the sun rises. They will dress their children in their new carefully chosen clothing. The family will look all nice and neat, like they do this every Sunday. Even the ones who do go every Sunday will be dressed in their Easter finest. Everyone will go, pray and worship, it will be a glorious time.

But will we remember the beating? Will we remember how those closest to Him turned their backs on Him? Will we remember that He loved us so much that He laid His life down for us? Will we actually remember what this day is all about?

It took me a long time to actually understand the meaning of Easter. I’m not going to tell no tales, the movie “The Passion of the Christ” really made me understand that day and why we celebrate it.

Every day we can look and see what His death meant for us. We can choose to believe or not believe, we do wrong and He will still stands by our side hoping we will finally choose Him.

It makes me smile just to think about it. Everyday I feel myself growing in with God and His son Jesus. I swear this is a feeling like no other. I know I still have a lot more growing to do but I’m so glad He died on the cross for us so that we all could have a chance to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

My Easer Sunday will be spent with my church family and friends. I will enjoy the day and will send a prayer Gods and Jesus way every chance I get because of their selflessness.

I hope you all remember the real reason for the day and have a blessed one.

Peace and Love,
Deidre

Hope (A quick short post)

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey

There is still hope for this world. We aren’t all bad.

When Pope Francis washed the feet of child inmates this proved that there are still people who have the humility to do something like that. It made my heart swell with pride although I’m not Catholic, you can’t ignore what something like that means.

Peace and Love,
Deidre

Right and Wrong Way to be a Christian

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

I’m a bit bothered right now.

I was told that I’m not going about my Christian Journey the correct way. It truly hurt my feelings because I felt as though I was getting closer to God through my reading and writing about him.

I read my bible everyday and then I write about what I’ve read and learned. What’s wrong about that?

I want to be the best Christian my way by Gods way (my husbands words to me). He made me the way I am. I’m quirky, weird, lazy, creative, artistic, emotional, unforgiving of myself, a good friend, a loving wife…. I’m so many things and God makes no mistakes. I know he wants me to work on the lazy thing and not forgiving myself but God has placed me right were He wants me to be in my life.

I don’t pray.

Wait before your mouth drops. I Talk to Jesus and I include His father in the conversation and it’s like one big gab fest, (Even though I need to learn to listen as much as I talk one of my many flaws). I love the relationship I have with Jesus and God. I can’t wait until I have the Holy Spirit and elevate myself to an even higher spiritual plane…

God has a plan for each and every one of our lives. Don’t let anyone or anything take away from what you feel you need to do in order to get closer to God. I’ll pray for the person who made me feel bad about myself, but I will never stop  trying my best to become closer to God.

I love the Lord

Happy Birthday CJ (my heavenly angel)

by deidreswain, posted in Family Time, My Christian Journey

So I totally had Part. 2 to my Easter blog planned.  I had even done all of research to speak on the subject. Then I go on Facebook for the first time today and what do I see..

My ex-husband had posted a birthday wish to our heavenly angel CJ, which included a picture of him taken when he was in the hospital.

Every bit of pain and emotion that I felt the day he was born and the day he died hit me like a ton of bricks.  You see he was born at 24 weeks…. very early to 26 year old couple at Shape, Belgium, a foreign country which we had only been in for a few short weeks, who knew nothing about being pregnant or having a baby.

My pregnancy was extremely difficult, and the only thing I was looking forward to having that special little person who would come out of me and just make me forget everything that I had  gone through.  

God had other ideas though. Trust me when I say, I know it’s true and I know  I’m on a path of spiritual awakening, but that statement is still hard to say.  I would trade me life to this day for my son to be on this Earth, but God makes know mistakes and He knows what’s best for me.

That still doesn’t stop me from thinking what if… I love my husband, but would I have gotten a divorce from my ex? (Statistics say this is normal after the loss of a child) Would I have had more children? (I still have no bio child) How would I have been as a person? Would I have come to Christ sooner? So many questions with answers that I know I will never have.

I always thought that this day would get easier. I thought that as the years went by it would hurt a little less. It hasn’t and doesn’t. My heart aches even as I’m typing this and I thank God for those around me who keep me uplifted during this time.

Losing a child is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. As the saying goes “It’s unnatural for a parent to bury their child”. My heart goes out to everyone who has had to bury theirs. It’s a club that no one wishes to be apart of.

I have to take a moment though and say thank you to those special people that I met while in Belgium.You guys became my family and I can say from the bottom of my heart that I love these ladies. They have wiped tears, held my hand, and just gave me every part of them even though they had only known me for such a short time (in the beginning). I loved you guys then and love you still now.

Carlos D. Blackmon II will always be my first child that grew inside of me, prayer fully he won’t be the last.  He is the one that I draw on when I need strength because I know if I could get through that then anything else I go through is nothing. He is the one who put the thought in my head about becoming a mother because before him I would have laughed at you.  Through him God has taught me some invaluable lessons about life. Although my baby boy is gone, he will never ever be far from my heart. I will love him always and because the tears are welling up in my eyes again I’m going to end this so I can pray my way through this.

Just to add something my husband just told me, don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel if you have gone through something like this. Yell, scream, kick, cry, exercise, just do whatever it is you need to do and don’t feel bad about it. It’s okay. Our club has no rules.

Romans 3:23/Part 1 of Easter Blog

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey

Romans 3:23 states: For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

I am not perfect, but neither is anyone reading this. (Sorry but it’s the truth), but probably unlike you I hold all of past transgressions against myself. I hold onto them knowing that God has forgiven me. 

Why? I really can’t answer that question. I feel as though I should have know better, should have been better. I like to think I’m an extremely smart and bright person (no laughing or jokes people), who shouldn’t have done anything that I did in my past. (I will allude to some of these things later, trust) At trust God isn’t through with me yet….

But God is not always proud of us, we do things that He has explicitly told us not to do, we pray and don’t listen or wait for His answers, we do so much that I’m sure that Jesus questions his discussion to die for our sins, because we learn nothing from our past or the past of others. I mean speaking as someone who is living now, I’m not sure I would have had the guts to die for a world knowing that some didn’t believe in me, some would forsaken me and some would just ignore all the things that I do in their life.

This generation is slowly getting away from what our grandparents believed in, how they helped one another, the things they stood for. I know that some people are still holding true to helping others. There is a person that I admire so much for her contribution to helping others. I want to mention her name but I’m not sure how she would fill about it so I’ll ask her and then tell you.

But we have got to understand that we are not perfect, God never expected us to be. He just wants us to do better. It’s not hard, nor will it be the easiest thing to do but it can be done.

Think about it. It’s already written.

 

 

 

 

 

Reaching my goals

by deidreswain, posted in My Goals

Over the weekend my husband and I finally worked on our vision book. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s where you actually put together a collage of your dreams. This why you actually have a visual of them, not just thoughts of them. It does make it easier to actually see the things we wish to accomplish in our personal and professional life.

One of the things that we both really wanted to accomplish was to become closer to God and incorporate Him in our everyday lives. So now every night before we go to sleep for the night we have taken to reading and having discussions about the Bible. It’s actually been quite interesting to hear his point of view on biblical things (not that we haven’t had these conversations before). I think that increases our communication and actually brings us closer together because we have so many subjects we can discuss. (more on that at another time)

I think just reading and trying to get a better understanding of who God is and what His son Jesus did for us brings us closer to Him because we put in the time and effort to read His word. I it does everyone some good to have some sort of spiritual connection. I get this great inner peace after I’ve prayed or read Gods word.

What brings you inner peace?