Archives

So this happened…

I wrote a post last week about how I was starting a new hair journey after some events led me to become very unhappy with my hair. I ended the post with saying that I had decided not to cut my hair in order to get it back to it’s healthy state. Well that information was very wrong… I couldn’t get it back the way I wanted it.  Because of the way it had been cut in the middle it was extremely hard to style. I was so sad… so I did the one thing I said I didn’t want to do… I cut my hair.

I’m actually very pleased at how it turned out and since it was done going into the new year, it will be easy to track the progress. I am so looking forward to this hair journey. Stay tuned!!
Peace and Love,

Deidre

Late in Life….

Do you think that dreams should ever die? Do you feel like there is an age on your dreams? I feel this way everyday.

My secret dream and goal is to one day really be able to sing, and don’t get me wrong I do that (trust lol!), but I want to be able to do it to the best of my ability, at the drop of a dime, with all the nervousness.

I sometimes wonder though, did I wait to late in my life to make a dream of this magnitude come true? What is the time limit on dreams? Don’t get me wrong I know that you are never to old to dream, especially when its something to better yourself, but is there ever a time when the clock should run out?

I mean lets take a look at the way some things have played out…. a 45 year old rapper finally hit the big time after being an underground artist for so long. We have a 100 year old woman running the 100 yard dash at the Penn relays (another dream of mine).  Look at Susan Boyle… I am quite sure she never thought she would get a career like the one she has. Older people are changing the way we look at how we age everyday now.

So although I’m late in life, I’m not out. I think I’m going to continue pushing myself to live my dreams.  I don’t want to ever look back on my life and think about all the things that I could have tried harder to do and didn’t. Trust me I all ready have to many regrets as it is and I don’t want to keep adding to the list!

So think about your dreams… especially the ones you think are no longer attainable. Make sure that you’re not letting anyone else put a ticking clock on what you can or cannot do. There really aren’t many things that are off limits anymore because of age.

So remember when, remember when you read this post of mine…. because one day you may be able to match it with a voice.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Life Dreams

So after doing everything I can possibly think of to do, I decided that I want to be a writer (not surprised right)? Well I have always loved reading and although I am adult have really gotten into the fantasy stories about dragons, werewolves and other magical creatures. So it wasn’t a big stretch that this would be the route that I would decide to take.

As I’m trying to put the structure of the story together I realized how far I’ve come.

I used to look back and think about all the things I wish I could change, now I look back and see all the things that I did and how far I’ve come.  I mean some of the things that I’ve done I’m not proud of, but some of these things I think wow, I can’t believe I did that. So first of all I’m finally living with no regrets and it feels AMAZING!! Lol!

I’m also learning to finally deal with disappointments in a better way. Everyday will not be all sunshine and rainbows as much as I want it to be it can’t be. If it were would never learn to appreciate them. That concept didn’t really hit me until I celebrated my 5 year wedding anniversary this year. We were sitting on the beach and things weren’t bad but of course we always want to do better but I realized everything up until that point had lead us to being able to spend a nice relaxing weekend on the beach.  Wow. Realization is a powerful thing.

I don’t know if people realize that your journey and how you handle it determines what you get out of it. You/We can handle anything and everything that comes our way. Everyone gets down, everyone WILL eventually get lose at something but, in the long run none of that matters. It’s how you pick yourself up, learn and move on that sets the pace for the chapter in your life.

So as many dreams as I’ve had, as many things as I have tried, and failed at, I will always try and go for it, try to reach it and achieve it. My “thing” is out there waiting for me just like everyone else’s. I won’t and can’t stop until it has been found.

Now go and find yours.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Dreams…

I’ve had big dreams, I’ve had little dreams. I’ve never thought that any of my outlandish dreams could or would ever come true. I can’t say that they exactly have but for some reason I fee that for some reason I am in the right place in my life for something amazing to happen. I thought my best years were behind me.I thought that there was no way, I could still dream big and stay realistic. I like for my dreams to be out of this world and crazy. I don’t want to limit myself to what potential I have.  For the past few months I’ve been surrounding myself with people who dream beyond what they can see themselves do and I love that. I finally think I stood steal and waited although my life has been filled with nothing but craziness, fun, and love.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m beginning to love life on my own terms and learning that I don’t have to be prefect.  I want to say thank you to everyone who is going on this journey because it will be a roller coaster ride that we will never forget. We will leave no stone unturned. We will let everyone know we were here…

Jae, Rashunda, Jeremy, Hope, Shaquanta and everyone else who is going to go or give me new adventures I can’t wait. Thank you for being here for me. Love ya’ll

 

Peace and Much love….

 

 

Acceptance

Do you remember in high school wanting to be around the popular kids? Or wanting to fit in with the “right group?”  Well, I actually never had the problem because the town I went to high school was my hometown so I had lots of family there and I mean lots of family. So because they belonged to so many different groups it was easy to just hang with any of them and be in whatever group I felt like being with. (I had my own group though Scilla, and Shunda)!!!

So then I went away to the military (yes I was active duty for a short while) and guess what because of my winning personality,(I think it may have been because I had big boobs) I was once again with the popular group. Unfortunately this is when I learned that being popular is not the most important thing in life and having everyone like you can blow up in your face in a heartbeat. It taught me alot though, and I did walk away with some lifelong friends.

So now here I am older and once again I thought I had been accepted into the “popular” crowd, until I got in and realized it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t be me, to much drama and then I realized that I am a horrible follower.

You would have thought that by now acceptance wouldn’t be that important to me. Well, NOW it isn’t (that much) but feeling like you are apart of something does make you feel as though life is good, no matter what you are apart of.

In learning myself though I realized I’m an Alpha. I dance to the beat of my own drum, I like to hold court and make the rules. That’s a hard thing to say when coming into someone else’s circle but I’ve accepted that part of me. So if that means I hold court alone then so be it, if I dance alone that’s okay also, and I guess I’ll just have to follow my own set of rules by myself.  But I do know that I will never lower my standards, self-esteem, or anything else about myself to be accepted on anyone else’s terms. I’m too important and too valuable for that.

Acceptance isn’t everything unless you are accepting yourself.

Peace and Love

Intentions

I’m getting this one up early because I am determined to be in bed and sleep no later than 8:30pm.

If you have read any of my blogs you know that I suffer from extreme insomnia, and if you don’t know just ask my car which I have run into the house twice while in a foggy mind frame.

Sleep is very important to the body which I have found out the hard way, but this blog is not about that tonight.

So as you all may know I TRY and do things in my church that glorify. I love God and this is what we are supposed to do.  The reason why try is in bold letters is because I live about 45 minutes away from my church so it isn’t always the most convenient place to go at a moments notice.  

So being as last night was one of those nights were I got no sleep and still had things to do during the day sleep was out of the question. So my intentions were to pick up my bonus son (which I did), go over homework (test tomorrow and I believe strongly in schoolwork), and feed him dinner (all done). Now I might add that his test worksheet was with his mother so I had to meet up with her to get it. 

By the time all of this is done I’m completely exhausted. I haven’t slept all day and although I’m good for the drive down, the one back is the one was mostly concerned with especially since I wouldn’t be alone. I had another life to look out for. 

So the hubby puts his foot down and says he doesn’t trust that I have enough energy for the task at hand.

But my intentions were to go and help the children prepare for their Easter Celebration.  Now I feel like I have good intentions but I didn’t follow through. So which is better wanting to do something or actually doing is regardless of the circumstances?

I believe my health and the welfare of my family comes first and I’m quite sure many of you agree. But when do we push ourselves beyond to make sure our intentions turn into results? 

I trust God whole heartedly, but he is trying to show me something with this insomnia thing. I believe that. 

My intentions are always good no matter how they start out. So charge it to my head and not to my heart. I will always do what I can.

God Bless

 

A woman of Christ

This is what I strive to be.

But what is this exactly?

When we seen our grandparents as saved people, that seemed to be a boring life. They never seemed to have any fun unless they were in church. But how does todays modern woman be a woman of Christ without falling into the trappings of the world?

I still want to be fashionable, hip, and stay the young person that I feel. I want to set a good example though, I don’t want there to be any question on my love and dedication to God. But where is the line drawn?

The Bible says that once you accept Christ you become something new, but isn’t there always a bit of the old mixed in with the new? If you were a comedian do you lose you funny bone because you become saved? Or does someone who wants to become an actress give that all up?

I know that God knows who we are deep down to our bones, so I think He calls us for the personality and the people that we are.

If you are gifted in any sort of way or even if you are just fashionable, all those gifts can be used to the glory of God. Now the “old school” church may not see it that way.

Example my husband loves music. Like absolutely loves it.  He has searched the internet until he found the type of gospel music that he can actually “feel”.  I mean he has found gospel music that actually beats in his truck. I mean he loves it! He said that if he knew that gospel music sounded that good he would have been converted (LOL).

I’m quite sure when people hear his truck and the music is booming I’m willing to bet that people think he’s listening to something other than gospel music.

So how do I stay a woman of Christ and stay true to who I am at the same time?