Month: November 2017

For Better of For Worse

by deidreswain, posted in Uncategorized

I will admit I am an absolute brat. When I got married, I actually had the notion that those words only if anything happened to me. I’ve always been pretty sickly so I knew I would be the one having the “for worse” moments. Until two weeks ago when my husband got sick.

He is a very strong worker and always work through pain, sorrow, sickness, unfair hours, anything and everything. I’v never had to worry about him calling out of work because he had a headache or the sniffles. I fact the first day he didn’t feel well he got off went straight to the doctor and was back at work the next day. He worked the rest of the week until that Monday when things changed. He came home and he literally laid out in the floor in pain and couldn’t move. We went back to the doctor they told him they had forgot the antibiotics and gave him some Tamiflu and cough syrup. Now for anyone who has had the flu you know that within 2-3 day on tamiflu you actually began to feel better. This didn’t happen this time.

I’ve very much into essential oils and alternative ways of breaking up colds. I called my mother and all my aunts for any remedy they had that could help in this situation, nothing was working.. I knew then I had to do something I hated doing. Convince him to go back to a doctor. My husband is not a hospital or doctor person and the only reason he does his yearly checks is because I threaten to withhold sex (a woman’s best weapon). I got him to agree although he was like maybe I’ll feel better tonight and if not we can go tomorrow (I wasn’t falling for that).

So I try out local Our Med first unfortunately our insurance requires a referral from our PCP, whose office is closed on the weekend, now I’ve been to this same place before with the same policy in place, the only thing is that you call our PCP within 72 hours, they put the referral in and that’s it. Instead tonight the lady decided to dig her heels in not see us. Although like I’ve said they have done it for me on plenty of occasions. So now the only other place was the ER where our co-pay just went fro $35 to $225…..

So off the the ER we go… thankfully we aren’t sitting long and we are back in a room pretty quickly and he is taken for his check X-ray rather fast also. That was the good part. They immediately came back that he had fluid on his longs and he had pneumonia. He was devastated , I on the other hand have been down this path before so I knew the deal. He doesn’t.

But that made me think of my wedding vows “For Better of For Worse” some people think those are just words until you are in the position. As I sat in a chair next to my husband watching him be in the one place that he dislikes more than ever in the world and not being able to do anything about it. It hit me. This is what it means to be there during the worst of times, even though it may not be as worse as others have it, I am the one used to being sick not him. Our roles were reversed and it felt weird. I was taking car of someone who wouldn’t even let me ever take out the trash.

The thought process of “For Worse”, never even crosses some people minds. I know it can me a lot more but for us my husband being down is as bad as it gets around for me. Everything else I can handle seeing him down actually wants to make me want to run away because there is nothing I can do about it. I couldn’t handle it. I hate seeing someone that prides themselves on being the strongest person for everyone down. I realized then that when you say those vows you have to mean it and know that you are saying it without knowing what may come down the road. It won’t be pretty, but if you have that love in your heart then it won’t matter.

Even my though my “For Worse” made me totally understand the term “Man Baby”….. I would definitely do it again because for better or for worse, I would go to the ends of the Earth for him or with him.

Peace and Love,

Deidre Swain