I like to think of myself as a relationship guru… I mean I have been in quite a few of them and I have a philosophy of that I have to learn something once I’ve moved on.
So today I was speaking with a good friend of mine and she was telling me the things she didn’t like about a potential suitor of hers, she said all these things were deal breakers for her. So I asked, have you spoken to him about it? She answered no…. we then proceeded to have a conversation about changing people we want to be with.
When you voice your opinion/concerns/comments are you trying to change someone?
There are things I do that I am quite sure are super annoying about me. In fact my husband will tell you in a heart beat that I am a spoiled brat and I don’t like to do anything that’s not my idea (this only half true, I’ll do stuff others want to do). I do have strong opinions on situations I will put myself in though.
Can your opinion/concern/comments actually make someone change?
You can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed. I don’t care who you are, what you can do for them or anything. No on changes unless they want to. I hate folding my clothes. My husband complains about this constantly….. guess what I have three basket of clothes at the bottom of the bad now. I hate folding clothes. I told him this when we meet almost 9 years ago, and I remind him of what I said now that we’ve been married for 7 years. I don’t think I’m going to change because I don’t want to.
If you want change something about a person should you even be going after them?
NO!! Everyone has the quirks and things about them that may make other people squirm. The rule of thumb is that you accept people as they are because no one is perfect and we are all works in progress so don’t judge because I’m quite sure they have a list of things about you they don’t like either.
Bottom line for me I accept people as who they are good or bad. If it’s not something I can see myself dealing with I walk away or keep friendly from afar. There is nothing wrong with that. No one is supposed to like everyone anyway.
Peace and Love,