I’m up. I really should be sleep. My head is killing me right now. I actually heard ringing in my ears a little while ago… scary stuff. I don’t know what it means. Normally I can expect to get a really bad sinus infection soon. I hope I don’t, it is extra hot and my pool is always calling my name….
But even with all that I’m up… and I’m looking at my husband sleep. I know he had a heavy mind… finding out a family member died yesterday…. saw a post from an old friend about how one of their good friends had died. I realized now that as much as I want to try and control everything, as much as I want to try and put my life plans and goals on a list, that it’s just not possible. The only thing we have in life to be certain about is the uncertainty. As soon as we try take comfort in things being in “place”, something takes place to change the “perfect balance” that we think we have finally achieved, whether the change is positive or negative it will happen. The uncertainty…..
I’m beginning to see that life is about living and accepting because what can you control? We can’t control others, nature or even ourselves sometimes for that matter. The uncertainty… I don’t want to sound all doom and gloom because the uncertainty isn’t like that. Its life, everyday we are all constantly evolving as people and we aren’t going to always be one way. We have to take comfort in knowing that life challenges us for better not worse. As the old saying goes you can’t have a testimony without a test.
Again, the uncertainty.
Even leaving out the house now seems to be a gamble. You never know if you’re going to make it back home because again the uncertainty of everything can be scary…. so what do I do? What do you do when there is nothing to do?
I’m actually certain with my answer to this…. more certain than anything else.
I’m going to live and love, because with that the uncertainty will be that much easier to get through.
Peace and Love,
Deidre
Living and loving in Utopia.... 