Abraham was one of God chosen people, he was promised to be blessed with many things and that his line would live on forever in fact I believe we all are somehow related to Abraham. If you know this story you can skip this post if not please read on Abraham had a wife Sarai, she was barren. So Sarai got their servant girl Hagar to have a child for Abraham so that he wouldn’t die childless this child was named Ishmael. The only problem was that God had promised Sarai a baby but on His time. So once the baby was born Sarai became very jealous and sent away Ishmael and his mother Hagar. God came to them and changed Sarai name to Sarah and finally blessed her with a son named Isaac. Even though Ishmael was technically the first born of Abraham because he was not the first born of the marriage he wasn’t given as much as Isaac was. I hope everyone knows this story because it has many meanings and it’s actually the reason the Palestine and Israelites are fighting each other over the land of Abraham. Who is the rightfully owner of this land. But I did tell this story for another reason. No one can come between what good decides He has His hands on. I know and believe that God is in this marriage in spite of what anyone has to say. I just now have to pray for strength to let the drama that has somehow creeped into my life go. I’m a child of God nothing and no one can hurt me.
I think blogging was the coolest thing that ever came from the internet. It gives people a platform and voice when they would have normally ever had one. The thing is people have used blogs against other maliciously. Why? I have an opinion and thoughts in my head just like everyone else, but since I don’t care to always write them down, I choose to blog them that way whatever I say may help someone else one day. I can’t be the only one in the positions that I find myself in.
Blogging is very therapeutic to me, it lets me get my emotions out without worrying about feedback out what others or going to think because I really don’t care nor do I put all of my life so that I can have something just for me something thats mine. Which is what I recommend every should do, mine is crafts and 2D art and I’m very good at both if I say so myself.
I still believe my work in this world isn’t finished in fact its just starting and I can’t wait to see what the future brings. Everyday is a new day to have a new life.
Peace and Love,
Mark 10:6 What God has brought together let no man put asunder. Be careful how you mess with the things God has His hands on.
I have mental disabilities… Depression and Anxiety are the biggest two that I have.
When I read about the death of Robin Williams and that he suffered from Depression and was struggling with it the first thing I wanted to do was choke my therapist. The other day he had just told me that this was something that could be beaten, apparently he was very wrong. If someone like Robin Williams could still suffer from it with all that he had accomplished, and all that he had done, who am I to be better than him?
What I did take from the situation is that everyday I have to work hard to keep myself in the right headspace that I need to be in to deal with all that comes my way. Just like lately things haven’t been going exactly as I would have them go but, I’m going to keep my head high because what I have learned from other situations that I have been in, is that the rain eventually stops… and the sun does come out tomorrow.
Don’t let depression overtake you reach out to someone or do what I’m doing now put your thoughts out there and re-read them so you can see how far you’ve come and how far you have to go.
I literally have someone trying to tear away at my life right now and it would usually send me into a downward spiral of depression because I don’t understand why someone would deliberately try and hurt someone and because I couldn’t find logic behind it, I would normally be driven crazy by trying to figure it out. But this time taking the tools that I’ve learned I know that sometimes people do things to other people without regards to the other person.
I have just actually put two post together into one so please don’t get lost in it. (sorry, the mind of someone with ADD is crazy!)
But all in all I have to say that depression is a very serious thing but things get bad but then they also get better. If you learn nothing else from Robin Williams, get help sooner than later and learn to live life and not to just exist.
So I’m very much what you would call a feminist. I am all about girl power and women sticking together and I can’t stand when another woman try’s to come and take one down. Well, I had this experience last night and I’m proud to say although it hurt, I’ve been through worse, and always the only thing I get out of the experiences is stronger. I’m so proud to say that. I so proud that who I have become, someone who takes negativity and use it to make me stronger. The true meaning of what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Adversity only strengthens my faith in God and lets me know that He has my back and won’t put anything more on my than I can bear.
With the experience it has taught me that women actually google you to figure out who you are… don’t you understand that you can be whoever you want to be on the internet, that doesn’t mean you’ll ever know the real me? The only way you know who I really is through this blog because this is where I don’t mind pouring out my real feelings because I never know who’s reading if it could help them in any way possible. I hate that people feel it’s okay to try to tear others down or to throw a monkey wrench in what they have because they feel they are better suited for the job… haven’t ever heard of what for you is for you or that God doesn’t bless mess? But I digress and this isn’t going to be long because I want to leave a message to the person cyber stalking me:
What God had brought together no man or woman will destroy it. You have only made me marriage stronger. Do yourself a favor and learn to love yourself first and then find someone who actually loves you and only you.
So today is the 3rd day that I’m on my first Clomid Cycle of pills… don’t ask or think. I am absolutely nervous. I never ever thought I would have to work so hard at having a baby. I wanted it to be natural and special, you know just making love with my husband and then waking up one day pregnant… wishful thinking I guess, but isn’t that how it should be anyway? But nothing has ever been simple or easy for me, so why should this be? I’ll the obstacles and challenges I’ve ever went through only made me a stronger person anyway. (Yes, that was a brag) My anxiety will be in overdrive for the next couple of months, but at least I know why and I can handle it.
I’ve also been doing a lot of life contemplation lately. When I start thinking about life the Alicia Keyes song “Brand New Me” always runs through my head. I guess my mind is trying to tell me that I’m not the same person that I used to be. I’m trying to embrace that, the change that has happened and is happening in me. I know that I’m growing as a person everyday and it is scary and wonderful all at the same time. You should never stop growing, learning about life or evolving as a person. I just had a birthday last week, and now more than ever my purpose in life (still searching) is more important to me than ever, being myself without boundaries no matter who approves or not. If you can’t be the best you then who can you be?
I feel importance in me, greatness even. I have no idea what it will be to make my life light shine bright. Whether it’s a big thing or little but I know I can’t wait and it will be fantastic. Life has taken on a different shape for me, one that I’ve molded to be the way I want to live. I love it and I’m love with it.