Category: My Christian Journey

Women, Women, Women and the Internet

by deidreswain, posted in Family Time, Living Life, My Christian Journey, Relationship, Uncategorized

So I’m very much what you would call a feminist.  I am all about girl power and women sticking together and I can’t stand when another woman try’s to come and take one down. Well, I had this experience last night and I’m proud to say although it hurt, I’ve been through worse, and always the only thing I get out of the experiences is stronger.  I’m so proud to say that. I so proud that who I have become, someone who takes negativity and use it to make me stronger.  The true meaning of what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Adversity only strengthens my faith in God and lets me know that He has my back and won’t put anything more on my than I can bear.

 With the experience it has taught me that women actually google you to figure out who you are… don’t you understand that you can be whoever you want to be on the internet, that doesn’t mean you’ll ever know the real me?  The only way you know who I really is through this blog because this is where I don’t mind pouring out my real feelings because I never know who’s reading if it could help them in any way possible.  I hate that people feel it’s okay to try to tear others down or to throw a monkey wrench in what they have because they feel they are better suited for the job… haven’t ever heard of what for you is for you or that God doesn’t bless mess? But I digress and this isn’t going to be long because I want to leave a message to the person cyber stalking me:

What God had brought together no man or woman will destroy it. You have only made me marriage stronger.  Do yourself  a favor and learn to love yourself first and then find someone who actually loves you and only you.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

 

Chat Fest at 4am!!

by deidreswain, posted in 2013 The year of Enlightenment, My Christian Journey, Uncategorized
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Don’t judge this happens to the best of us, but I decided to put it out there anyway. Enjoy or don’t enjoy.

 

Peace  and Lovem

Deidre

Music

by deidreswain, posted in 2013 The year of Enlightenment, Living Life, My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

The other day I had written the most witty post about music and how I felt about it in conduction with my Christian faith. It was very insightful if I may say so myself. Then I forgot to push the save draft button and it disappeared.  I’m hoping that I can re-create my thoughts on the subject and still feel comes across the way I want it to.

I love music, all kinds.  Music is truly the universal language of the world.

With that being said, being a Christian I’m told that I’m only “allowed” to listen to one type of music. I just can’t accept that, and until I’m convicted or conflicted I will continue to listen to what makes me feel like me. Now don’t get me wrong I have cut out the booty music because it just doesn’t appeal to me anymore and rap has never really been my thing because it’s hard for me to keep up with anything that doesn’t have a melody that I can catch.

I like music that speaks to me, love songs, music that tells me that I’m able to do or be anything I want to be. Music that tells me where I’ve been and where I can go. Jazz, Pop, 80’s big hair bands, R&B, Oldies, Motown, some rock music and alternative music, just about anything and everything.  I love music that gives me that feel good feeling of self being and self awareness.  Music that makes me smile, music that makes me think about my husband and all the times we’ve shared good and bad. All the times that music has helped me get through the bad stuff, the times where I didn’t think I would make it.

Music is beautiful, and being trapped into listening to only one type I think is such a huge injustice.  To me it also let’s us learn about things we may not ever have any access to.

I know how important it is to be careful of what you put into your body (and yes that includes the music you listen to) I try not to listen to anything God would disapprove of.

Now people will say that God could have done all those things to help me get through all of these things, well He did do all those things.  He put that music into the artist,  writers and record labels minds to release.  Which in turn allowed me to hear it.  Can you say I’m right or wrong?

Even David wrote love songs in the Book of Psalm….

I would love to debate this and I’m open to whatever you want to throw my way.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Unwavering Faith

by deidreswain, posted in 2013 The year of Enlightenment, Living Life, My Christian Journey

I have an anxiety disorder… which is really just a fancy way of saying that I’m high strung and hard to calm down sometimes.  So when I’m put in situations which I can control or I haven’t planned, my thought process has a tendency to go overboard and I become consumed with thoughts of the situation.  Trust me it isn’t a pretty sight.

I am frustrated with this because I hate roadblocks! This is another one that I have to overcome in order to become the best child of God that I can become.  How is it that i’m suppose to be able to have this unwavering faith when I seem to fall apart when things don’t go as I would have them planned? I try and stay strong, planted and rooted in the knowledge of God’s word that He will never forsake me and that His promises are true.

I pray and I know I will have to continue to pray harder everyday because I can’t let this beat me. God gave me this because He knew I was strong enough to overcome. (I will have to share later why and how I know this is true).  I just can’t get so down on myself when the grip that I think that I have starts to loosen. I mean no one is strong everyday.

It is totally okay not to be perfect. Throw caution to the wind and live the best life for you. Have that unwavering faith in God that as long as you live as He has you to live, He will never leave you hanging.

Unwavering Outcast

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Missed Opportunities

by deidreswain, posted in Living Life, My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

No one is perfect, and more than anything I always try and be the best person that I can be. I have a very serious problem though. I really hate to disappoint people, which leads to very disastrous consequences. I have no idea where this need to be everything to everyone comes from.

I feel at these times I miss out on the chance to be a better person. These are the times where I need to be able to show what I’m made of and just own up to the fact that I’ve fallen short of expectations. It feels as though it kills me to do that!

I mean don’t want anyone to think me, my life or anything around me is perfect or always in complete working order. They are not! I’m sometimes a mess and so is my life. I just try as hard as I can to not let that get me down because God doesn’t want a mopey me!

I actually hope there are more times to come that can test me and give me the opportunity to just accept the fact that I will disappoint people (not on purpose) and that I can and will live through it. If someone looks at me differently for making a mistake then all I can do is apologize and ask for their forgiveness.

God is still working on me.

Peace and Love,
Deidre

Ephesians 4:31-…

by deidreswain, posted in Living Life, My Christian Journey

Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I wasn’t going to post anything tonight but I started reading my verse for the night and this came up. I couldn’t do anything but laugh. Why would I laugh? Every single day someone opens their mouth and says something negative about someone else. I’m guilty of it myself.  So please don’t think I’m trying to condemn anyone.  It just amazes me that we aren’t kind to one another or tenderhearted, we don’t try to understand each other to see where the other person is coming from. We judge without knowing the facts. I have already challenged myself to stop talking about others. I’ve been doing pretty good (not perfect), but I know that I want to do better and maybe people won’t talk about me.  I do believe that it starts with one person taking a stand against negativity so that others may change. Like Michael Jackson said “start with the man in the mirror.”

 

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Back Stabbers

by deidreswain, posted in Living Life, My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

So lately I’ve had a lot of hurt and aggression in my heart towards a lot of people. I know that’s not the right thing to do because the Bible says in Mathew 18:15-17. I should go to the person in private and deal with whatever issues we have.

I’m all for that. I believe I’ve come to know myself more that I should and can be able to stand up for myself.

But what if it doesn’t solve the problem and just creates a bigger one? What if you can’t tell a person that they have hurt your feelings or said something about you that just isn’t true?

How important is it really that we get people to see us for who we are and not their perception or how important is it that “our” side of the story is known? Or that we let the people know they are a gossip?

I’m a sensitive person who tends to feel the need to always explain myself or tell my side. My husband is completely opposite, he’s one of those “they talked about Jesus” people so why care what people say behind your back.

I guess i’m old fashioned because I feel as though if you can smile in my face or tell me you love me, you shouldn’t be speaking bad about me behind my back under any circumstances. Whatever issues we have “WE” fix them.

I’m not really sure who reads my blogs but if you recognize yourself let’s do lunch and work this out, grown people style. It actually hurts me to know that you aren’t being yourself around me.

Peace and Love,

Love

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey, Relationship

I don’t really talk much about my relationship.

It’s because I’m so in love that I quite put it into words. My husband is the most wonderful man I have ever known. I truly love him.

So who’s rib was I made from? I’ve been married before and I’ve been in other relationships before. So with that being said who was the one I was meant to be connected to?

I realize how differently my relationship is so different from other relationships that I see and I always wonder is mine good different or bad different?

Since our relationship started with us being together 24/7, we rarely do anything without the other. My husband opens doors for me all the time, I mean all the time. I don’t take out trash, do any yard work, my car is always washed and most importantly he tries to understand my emotional needs. (You know as women we are very complex).

My life with my husband is beautiful, and spiritual. Of course we have disagreements like any other couple but we try to not let it go on too long.(I get mad extremely). He is so easy going with a real easy going nature, while I’m going through the house yelling at the top of my lungs. (That’s me and I’m working on it)

I’m in love, but it makes me wonder am I his rib? Did I pick the wrong husband the first time and then God stepped in and pointed me in the direction that I should go in?

I believe so because we are equally yoked, which is the most important thing. The one for us is out there unless God designed it for us to be alone for His glory (or because you have issues and can’t keep a man.

There is nothing wrong with love, but not only are we suppose to have unconditional love for those closes to us but also to one another. Love actually makes the world go round (I know it also makes some people crazy). Love is what God wants us to show each other. We love saying it but do we actually mean it?

I believe we should start learning in loving each other more than ever know. The world today is filled with such hate and turmoil that this is the only thing that we can do to fix ii.

So love one another.

Peace and Love,
Deidre

Music

by deidreswain, posted in My Christian Journey, Uncategorized

Something has been strongly on my mind today… music.

If you know me, then you know that I love music. All types as long as it has a melody I can find something about it that I enjoy. Don’t even get my started on a nice drum or guitar rift…

But in my spiritual walk, I’ve been told that I can’t listen to the music that I once listened to. Is this right or wrong?

Now everyone knows that music is universal. It transcends color lines, economic status, and cultures. So when it comes to secular music vs. gospel music what is more important, the point that it is sung by a none gospel artist, that it isn’t in the gospel music genre, or is it more about the lyrical content?

To me music is more about lyrical content then anything else. I know many people will and can dispute this, but please think before you speak.

I like music that has a conscious message. I don’t really care who sings it or what genre it comes from. I love music that opens my eyes to the world. Do you remember John Lennon song “Imagine”? That song is absolutely amazing!!

To me it speaks to a christians heart, but of course this isn’t considered a Christian song now is it?
Do you realize how many songs Michael Jackson did that had messages behind them? Here’s one line everyone should remember “If you can’t feed your baby, then don’t have a baby”, so simple.

But yet I’m told that this type of music isn’t pleasing to Gods ears.

Once again I’m trying to become the best christian that I can be, but since I’ve started on this journey I’ve come to realize that some things that I used to think doesn’t sit well with me anymore. It doesn’t go with the things I’ve had conversations with Jesus and God about.

The music thing is big on my list because it is something that is important to me, when I’m happy, sad, or even mad, music has a way of making me see things that I didn’t see before I heard certain song. I love the way some songs make me think outside of myself or they make me feel like I can be more than I am. Music does that for me.

God places things, people, and situations in our lives to teach us things. We are not all reached by God the same way. He reaches us however and wherever He can. Maybe music and writing is the way He reaches me.

Who knows? What do you think?

Peace and Love,
Deidre