Archive | May 2018

True Friends

So this morning, I got a message in my inbox on Facebook from a longtime friend of mine. The subject was a sermon from Pastor @mikesteele about “How Do You Know When You Have A True Friend”? The Pastor listed three things of what the characteristics of a true is:

1) Shows up. Whether you are right or wrong and no matter what you’re going through.

2) They will encourage you to endure.

3) They are not envious of your elevation.

I would like to think that I have all three of three of these qualities plus I give so much of myself that I begin to neglect myself to be a good friend. Of all the friendships that I have had in my entire lifetime I can honestly count on one hand the number of people that I have completely severed ties with. For me to be almost 37 years old I would think that is a very good thing.

For those that know me they all say the same thing…. I put up with too much from my “friends” and I ignore the signs that they don’t belong in my life. I can’t help it though. I have a big heart and want to see everyone happy, no matter what it does to me.

Of the relationships that I have lost only three still bother me, but that makes me think were they real friend in the beginning was it something that was going to fizzle out anyway? Was it way past the expiration date anyway. I guess I’ll never know and to make sure my life is on the track I want it to be I can’t allow myself to focus on those lost relationships because if they were meant to be they would still be around right?

Something to think about.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Can you change a person…

I like to think of myself as a relationship guru… I mean I have been in quite a few of them and I have a philosophy of that I have to learn something once I’ve moved on.

So today I was speaking with a good friend of mine and she was telling me the things she didn’t like about a potential suitor of hers, she said all these things were deal breakers for her. So I asked, have you spoken to him about it? She answered no…. we then proceeded to have a conversation about changing people we want to be with.

When you voice your opinion/concerns/comments are you trying to change someone?

There are things I do that I am quite sure are super annoying about me. In fact my husband will tell you in a heart beat that I am a spoiled brat and I don’t like to do anything that’s not my idea (this only half true, I’ll do stuff others want to do). I do have strong opinions on situations I will put myself in though.

Can your opinion/concern/comments actually make someone change?

You can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed. I don’t care who you are, what you can do for them or anything. No on changes unless they want to. I hate folding my clothes. My husband complains about this constantly….. guess what I have three basket of clothes at the bottom of the bad now. I hate folding clothes. I told him this when we meet almost 9 years ago, and I remind him of what I said now that we’ve been married for 7 years. I don’t think I’m going to change because I don’t want to.

If you want change something about a person should you even be going after them?

NO!! Everyone has the quirks and things about them that may make other people squirm. The rule of thumb is that you accept people as they are because no one is perfect and we are all works in progress so don’t judge because I’m quite sure they have a list of things about you they don’t like either.

Bottom line for me I accept people as who they are good or bad. If it’s not something I can see myself dealing with I walk away or keep friendly from afar. There is nothing wrong with that. No one is supposed to like everyone anyway.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

The Stress we create..

Hey guys! I know it’s been a while since I spoke but I still have lots to say and I’m glad to say that I will finally be adding videos!! Yeah!

But let’s get to the life lesson that I have learned.. So about two weeks ago my family and I went through some things and finally we came out with a win. A really big one. Now instead of riding high on the fact that something had finally actually gone as planned and things were looking up. I immediately started to look for the next problem and the next thing to stress over. I can’t possibly be the only person who does that. I mean instead of celebrating and enjoying the moment, I actually looked for something else to get down about… why is that?

I think that because life is so chaotic that we get wrapped up in the stress of everyday life a little too much and we don’t know how to enjoy the times where peace is at hand. I know I don’t. I thrive in chaos, like it is all around me all the times, coming from friends and family that I actually can’t remember when the last time I felt just total peace. I know that’s what I want in my life now and I will get it.

So I’m going to stop borrow trouble and other people issues and focus on me, myself, and I. I can’t help if I’m troubled myself and as I have written in post before I have only just begun to piece myself back together from my 20’s….

I want everyone to evaluate the things that are going on in your life and look at what actually had to do with you and if it doesn’t affect you walk away from it. It’s toxic to your well-being and I can guarantee that it is causing some type of stress that you really don’t need.

Then after you do that I want you to start each day by either writing or just naming out loud three things you are grateful for. No matter how big or small because most of the time the small things count more than the bigger things. 5 minutes a day can bring you a lot of peace and happiness. Although I am only on day 6 of my stress free month I already feel so much lighter and I’m hoping this leads to a lot of changes in my life.

Peace and Love,

Deidre