Living and loving in Utopia….

I’m not even going to pretend anymore when I disappear because it’s what I need to do for my mental health but I love when I am back.

 

So this morning, I got a message in my inbox on Facebook from a longtime friend of mine. The subject was a sermon from Pastor @mikesteele about “How Do You Know When You Have A True Friend”? The Pastor listed three things of what the characteristics of a true is:

1) Shows up. Whether you are right or wrong and no matter what you’re going through.

2) They will encourage you to endure.

3) They are not envious of your elevation.

I would like to think that I have all three of three of these qualities plus I give so much of myself that I begin to neglect myself to be a good friend. Of all the friendships that I have had in my entire lifetime I can honestly count on one hand the number of people that I have completely severed ties with. For me to be almost 37 years old I would think that is a very good thing.

For those that know me they all say the same thing…. I put up with too much from my “friends” and I ignore the signs that they don’t belong in my life. I can’t help it though. I have a big heart and want to see everyone happy, no matter what it does to me.

Of the relationships that I have lost only three still bother me, but that makes me think were they real friend in the beginning was it something that was going to fizzle out anyway? Was it way past the expiration date anyway. I guess I’ll never know and to make sure my life is on the track I want it to be I can’t allow myself to focus on those lost relationships because if they were meant to be they would still be around right?

Something to think about.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

I like to think of myself as a relationship guru… I mean I have been in quite a few of them and I have a philosophy of that I have to learn something once I’ve moved on.

So today I was speaking with a good friend of mine and she was telling me the things she didn’t like about a potential suitor of hers, she said all these things were deal breakers for her. So I asked, have you spoken to him about it? She answered no…. we then proceeded to have a conversation about changing people we want to be with.

When you voice your opinion/concerns/comments are you trying to change someone?

There are things I do that I am quite sure are super annoying about me. In fact my husband will tell you in a heart beat that I am a spoiled brat and I don’t like to do anything that’s not my idea (this only half true, I’ll do stuff others want to do). I do have strong opinions on situations I will put myself in though.

Can your opinion/concern/comments actually make someone change?

You can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed. I don’t care who you are, what you can do for them or anything. No on changes unless they want to. I hate folding my clothes. My husband complains about this constantly….. guess what I have three basket of clothes at the bottom of the bad now. I hate folding clothes. I told him this when we meet almost 9 years ago, and I remind him of what I said now that we’ve been married for 7 years. I don’t think I’m going to change because I don’t want to.

If you want change something about a person should you even be going after them?

NO!! Everyone has the quirks and things about them that may make other people squirm. The rule of thumb is that you accept people as they are because no one is perfect and we are all works in progress so don’t judge because I’m quite sure they have a list of things about you they don’t like either.

Bottom line for me I accept people as who they are good or bad. If it’s not something I can see myself dealing with I walk away or keep friendly from afar. There is nothing wrong with that. No one is supposed to like everyone anyway.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Hey guys! I know it’s been a while since I spoke but I still have lots to say and I’m glad to say that I will finally be adding videos!! Yeah!

But let’s get to the life lesson that I have learned.. So about two weeks ago my family and I went through some things and finally we came out with a win. A really big one. Now instead of riding high on the fact that something had finally actually gone as planned and things were looking up. I immediately started to look for the next problem and the next thing to stress over. I can’t possibly be the only person who does that. I mean instead of celebrating and enjoying the moment, I actually looked for something else to get down about… why is that?

I think that because life is so chaotic that we get wrapped up in the stress of everyday life a little too much and we don’t know how to enjoy the times where peace is at hand. I know I don’t. I thrive in chaos, like it is all around me all the times, coming from friends and family that I actually can’t remember when the last time I felt just total peace. I know that’s what I want in my life now and I will get it.

So I’m going to stop borrow trouble and other people issues and focus on me, myself, and I. I can’t help if I’m troubled myself and as I have written in post before I have only just begun to piece myself back together from my 20’s….

I want everyone to evaluate the things that are going on in your life and look at what actually had to do with you and if it doesn’t affect you walk away from it. It’s toxic to your well-being and I can guarantee that it is causing some type of stress that you really don’t need.

Then after you do that I want you to start each day by either writing or just naming out loud three things you are grateful for. No matter how big or small because most of the time the small things count more than the bigger things. 5 minutes a day can bring you a lot of peace and happiness. Although I am only on day 6 of my stress free month I already feel so much lighter and I’m hoping this leads to a lot of changes in my life.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

So this morning we were invited to church with our neighbors of course their church start time is much earlier than ours and we overslept. I blame my husband because waking us up to get somewhere on time has always been job (yes I’m throwing him under the bus) I’m guessing he woke up in the middle of the night to watch tv like he always does and was still sleepy.

When I awoke though there was a movie playing “Runaway Jury”, the movie was made in 2003 but the book was written by John Grisham in 1996. The movie and book are about a widow suing a gun manufacturer because her husband went to work and shot up his office and killed himself. Is this starting to sound familiar? Of course the gun manufacturer only comeback was that the 2nd Amendment Right gave anyone the right to own a gun and it doesn’t matter who owns their guns and what they do with them isn’t their problem.

But it made me think, don’t cigarettes have a warning on them, in fact they now have tv ads that show often about the dangers of smoking. The labels on alcohol have warnings, in fact now that I really think about just about everything we use or do has some type of warning or rules for us to go by when we use them. There are even warnings on video games that say some video games can aggravate their epilepsy. So why aren’t their warning labels on guns?

Now don’t get me wrong I have absolutely nothing against the ownership of guns, the responsible ownership of guns. We have guns in our home and even before I came into the picture with my husband and bonus son I was absolutely impressed with what my husband had taught my son about gun safety and he was only 4 years old at the time. Now it may have something to do with the fact the he had limited access to toy guns also so as to not confuse him but still we speak with him often still to this day and he has never wavered on how he feels about guns and mass gun shootings..

Gun violence like this just didn’t start we just ignored all the warning signs in the beginning and let the big gun makers and NRA put money in the pockets of our governors and senators. When the only people getting killed by guns were “gang bangers” it was okay nobody was overly concerned. Then it wasn’t about gun violence it was about gang violence and (just being truthful) whites people weren’t getting hurt so…

But what if we had changed the laws as soon as stuff like this started happening? How many people would still have their family members with them today?

Peace and Love,

Deidre

If you ever want to be great or have anything in life you must be consistent and patient . I have neither one of these traits. I know I’ve spoken before about my lack of patience but I just realized consistency was also a big part of what I want for my future.

Whatever it is you want in life you have to eat, breathe and live it. Even if all of desire is a closer relationship with God.

I have all these creative ideas in my head of things I know I am good at things I know will bring me the fulfillment you get when you are able to us your God given talents. I sit and think about what I can do, but I have a lot of buts…. I always say “oh that won’t turn out right because I don’t have this or that or I don’t have money to really get it out there the way I want to. Did you catch all that did you see the patience I don’t have to use the things that I have and when I do one thing the inconsistency I have within myself.

That is honestly the harshest part of wanting and having anything. Everyday I can learn a new tip or something to do until I can “get” what I think I need. Because truthfully I believe my laziness and my sense of “Oh everyone knows me, they know I change me mind often.” Nope just another excuse to stop in the middle of something or stop trying to learn a new program because people shouldn’t expect much from me.

Thats’ the worse lie I have ever told myself, because (humble brag) I know how smart I am. I know how to get things done and I’m pretty amazing at a lot of things. So why am I selling myself short?

Peace and Love,

Deidre

I survived Christmas! It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I so enjoyed myself being with my family. It was totally amazing.

I have a confession to make. I don’t know how to truly enjoy living without spending money. This was my first Christmas having to do so. I thought it was going to be awful and I just knew I would spend the day in a funk but it was the best ever. I made all my families gifts and every one loved them. It was creative and made me feel really good. Which is inline with the way I want to start my 2018 and my goals for next year. I’m going to become the very best version of myself. I am super excited to start this journey and I hope you guys all come along with me. I will be starting a youtube channel where I’m going to chronicle my journey.

I am not perfect, nor will I ever portray to be. I want you to see what a journey of being your best actually looks like because so many people come to you after they have done the hard work, but they never let you see the process of how hard it can be to get to a good place in life where you finally feel comfortable in your own skin. So I invite you to join me on my new Youtube Channel: https://youtu.be/tLQMW5tV-3k/https://youtu.be/Ee7BWmERPZ8 there will be more videos to come and a lot more to talk about. So bring it on 2018 I am so ready for you.

Peace and Love,

Deidre

Just wanted to give everyone something to think about. I know how hard it is to love our bodies and even ourselves sometimes, but we can do it! We are all so very special and we never need to forget that.

The Video wouldn’t update late night! But Happy Thanksgiving!!

Peace and Joy,

Deidre