Do you remember in high school wanting to be around the popular kids? Or wanting to fit in with the “right group?”  Well, I actually never had the problem because the town I went to high school was my hometown so I had lots of family there and I mean lots of family. So because they belonged to so many different groups it was easy to just hang with any of them and be in whatever group I felt like being with. (I had my own group though Scilla, and Shunda)!!!

So then I went away to the military (yes I was active duty for a short while) and guess what because of my winning personality,(I think it may have been because I had big boobs) I was once again with the popular group. Unfortunately this is when I learned that being popular is not the most important thing in life and having everyone like you can blow up in your face in a heartbeat. It taught me alot though, and I did walk away with some lifelong friends.

So now here I am older and once again I thought I had been accepted into the “popular” crowd, until I got in and realized it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t be me, to much drama and then I realized that I am a horrible follower.

You would have thought that by now acceptance wouldn’t be that important to me. Well, NOW it isn’t (that much) but feeling like you are apart of something does make you feel as though life is good, no matter what you are apart of.

In learning myself though I realized I’m an Alpha. I dance to the beat of my own drum, I like to hold court and make the rules. That’s a hard thing to say when coming into someone else’s circle but I’ve accepted that part of me. So if that means I hold court alone then so be it, if I dance alone that’s okay also, and I guess I’ll just have to follow my own set of rules by myself.  But I do know that I will never lower my standards, self-esteem, or anything else about myself to be accepted on anyone else’s terms. I’m too important and too valuable for that.

Acceptance isn’t everything unless you are accepting yourself.

Peace and Love

Romans 3:23/Part 1 of Easter Blog

Romans 3:23 states: For ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

I am not perfect, but neither is anyone reading this. (Sorry but it’s the truth), but probably unlike you I hold all of past transgressions against myself. I hold onto them knowing that God has forgiven me. 

Why? I really can’t answer that question. I feel as though I should have know better, should have been better. I like to think I’m an extremely smart and bright person (no laughing or jokes people), who shouldn’t have done anything that I did in my past. (I will allude to some of these things later, trust) At trust God isn’t through with me yet….

But God is not always proud of us, we do things that He has explicitly told us not to do, we pray and don’t listen or wait for His answers, we do so much that I’m sure that Jesus questions his discussion to die for our sins, because we learn nothing from our past or the past of others. I mean speaking as someone who is living now, I’m not sure I would have had the guts to die for a world knowing that some didn’t believe in me, some would forsaken me and some would just ignore all the things that I do in their life.

This generation is slowly getting away from what our grandparents believed in, how they helped one another, the things they stood for. I know that some people are still holding true to helping others. There is a person that I admire so much for her contribution to helping others. I want to mention her name but I’m not sure how she would fill about it so I’ll ask her and then tell you.

But we have got to understand that we are not perfect, God never expected us to be. He just wants us to do better. It’s not hard, nor will it be the easiest thing to do but it can be done.

Think about it. It’s already written.