I have go to get better at this blogging thing because I really enjoy doing it, but I am so slow at it sometimes or I don’t want to get too controversial in some of the things that I want to say, but with the way things are going maybe I should learn to be more true to myself and not be afraid if I’m going to step on toes or not… So please be patient with me because I’m going to work on procrastination and getting my information out there. In fact I think I’ll be doing blogging and video blogging all at the same time, especially when there is something I have to say… So don’t give up on me yet!
Peace and Love,
I’m up. I really should be sleep. My head is killing me right now. I actually heard ringing in my ears a little while ago… scary stuff. I don’t know what it means. Normally I can expect to get a really bad sinus infection soon. I hope I don’t, it is extra hot and my pool is always calling my name….
But even with all that I’m up… and I’m looking at my husband sleep. I know he had a heavy mind… finding out a family member died yesterday…. saw a post from an old friend about how one of their good friends had died. I realized now that as much as I want to try and control everything, as much as I want to try and put my life plans and goals on a list, that it’s just not possible. The only thing we have in life to be certain about is the uncertainty. As soon as we try take comfort in things being in “place”, something takes place to change the “perfect balance” that we think we have finally achieved, whether the change is positive or negative it will happen. The uncertainty…..
I’m beginning to see that life is about living and accepting because what can you control? We can’t control others, nature or even ourselves sometimes for that matter. The uncertainty… I don’t want to sound all doom and gloom because the uncertainty isn’t like that. Its life, everyday we are all constantly evolving as people and we aren’t going to always be one way. We have to take comfort in knowing that life challenges us for better not worse. As the old saying goes you can’t have a testimony without a test.
Again, the uncertainty.
Even leaving out the house now seems to be a gamble. You never know if you’re going to make it back home because again the uncertainty of everything can be scary…. so what do I do? What do you do when there is nothing to do?
I’m actually certain with my answer to this…. more certain than anything else.
I’m going to live and love, because with that the uncertainty will be that much easier to get through.
Peace and Love,
Do you think that dreams should ever die? Do you feel like there is an age on your dreams? I feel this way everyday.
My secret dream and goal is to one day really be able to sing, and don’t get me wrong I do that (trust lol!), but I want to be able to do it to the best of my ability, at the drop of a dime, with all the nervousness.
I sometimes wonder though, did I wait to late in my life to make a dream of this magnitude come true? What is the time limit on dreams? Don’t get me wrong I know that you are never to old to dream, especially when its something to better yourself, but is there ever a time when the clock should run out?
I mean lets take a look at the way some things have played out…. a 45 year old rapper finally hit the big time after being an underground artist for so long. We have a 100 year old woman running the 100 yard dash at the Penn relays (another dream of mine). Look at Susan Boyle… I am quite sure she never thought she would get a career like the one she has. Older people are changing the way we look at how we age everyday now.
So although I’m late in life, I’m not out. I think I’m going to continue pushing myself to live my dreams. I don’t want to ever look back on my life and think about all the things that I could have tried harder to do and didn’t. Trust me I all ready have to many regrets as it is and I don’t want to keep adding to the list!
So think about your dreams… especially the ones you think are no longer attainable. Make sure that you’re not letting anyone else put a ticking clock on what you can or cannot do. There really aren’t many things that are off limits anymore because of age.
So remember when, remember when you read this post of mine…. because one day you may be able to match it with a voice.
Peace and Love,
So the most amazing thing just happened.
I felt loved. Now don’t misunderstand me, I know that I’m loved and I feel it everyday, but I have been on my path to being more self aware. I want to really be present in every moment of my life so I don’t miss anything.
So today when my husband came home and I learned what he had done (nothing big just something incredibly thoughtful and sweet) it hit me and hit me hard.
Sometimes we need to have these moments in our life where we can actually feel something and know exactly what it is. I didn’t need to take time out and process my feelings or anything I instantly knew, wow this man really loves me.
This reinforces my resolve to learn to be in the moment at all times. I could have missed this and then complained to my friends later about how my husband only goes for the grand gesture and never does the “little things”, but he does and I normally miss it.
I won’t ever take these moments lightly ever again. I won’t ever forget to enjoy myself and only think of what I’m doing at the time and nothing else.
Learning to live in the moment is such a beautiful thing….
Peace and Love,
So all across this great country of ours young people are graduating college! It’s an exciting time in many lives but it can also be very scary because you are officially an ADULT (yes it is as scary as it sounds).
I know that a lot of graduates are getting tons of advice right now and yes I’m about to add to it. Sorry!
With me being 34 years old, I think the biggest thing I have had to battle is regrets, and the old woulda/shoulda game. So when I realized that I too also wanted to add to the advice game I thought about my stuff first so that I could offer a goo perspective on life.
I decided to think about everything in my life that lead me down a certain path (only big events that I feel shaped me) and see what if? I won’t bore you with my list but trust it was long and intensive because regardless of what I think may have happened who knows that my destiny didn’t still come to fruitation?
So here is what I learned:
-Life is about making mistakes. No matter how hard you try, you will make them. Its okay as long as you learn from it. You just have to get up and never stop trying.
-You will always feel like you are missing something and that’s okay. Some things aren’t meant to be figured out all at once. Some things will be figured out in time, life is a series of events. Nothing happens all at once.
-Live one day at a time. That doesn’t mean to go out and fuck up all the time and say “oh tomorrow’s another day so it doesn’t matter,” but don’t spend all your time worry about things you don’t know anything about. Live for the day. Tomorrow isn’t promised to you. Do the best you can and be the best person you can everyday.
-What is meant for you will come. No one can stop it, so don’t worry. Again just do the best you can with your life. Speaking of YOUR life, live it for you. Don’t waste too much time on trying to make everyone happy but yourself. You will fail if you try to live your life like that. This I can promise you.
These are just a few nuggets of wisdom that I wanted to drop. Read them, remember them and come back to them later because I’m quite sure you won’t listen now but one day all these things will come back to you.
Enjoy your new life!
Peace, Love, and Joy
So after doing everything I can possibly think of to do, I decided that I want to be a writer (not surprised right)? Well I have always loved reading and although I am adult have really gotten into the fantasy stories about dragons, werewolves and other magical creatures. So it wasn’t a big stretch that this would be the route that I would decide to take.
As I’m trying to put the structure of the story together I realized how far I’ve come.
I used to look back and think about all the things I wish I could change, now I look back and see all the things that I did and how far I’ve come. I mean some of the things that I’ve done I’m not proud of, but some of these things I think wow, I can’t believe I did that. So first of all I’m finally living with no regrets and it feels AMAZING!! Lol!
I’m also learning to finally deal with disappointments in a better way. Everyday will not be all sunshine and rainbows as much as I want it to be it can’t be. If it were would never learn to appreciate them. That concept didn’t really hit me until I celebrated my 5 year wedding anniversary this year. We were sitting on the beach and things weren’t bad but of course we always want to do better but I realized everything up until that point had lead us to being able to spend a nice relaxing weekend on the beach. Wow. Realization is a powerful thing.
I don’t know if people realize that your journey and how you handle it determines what you get out of it. You/We can handle anything and everything that comes our way. Everyone gets down, everyone WILL eventually get lose at something but, in the long run none of that matters. It’s how you pick yourself up, learn and move on that sets the pace for the chapter in your life.
So as many dreams as I’ve had, as many things as I have tried, and failed at, I will always try and go for it, try to reach it and achieve it. My “thing” is out there waiting for me just like everyone else’s. I won’t and can’t stop until it has been found.
Now go and find yours.
Peace and Love,
Where has the time gone?
It has been too long since I have updated on here! I have definetly been twitting more and expressing my feelings but I haven’t been keeping up with my blog the way that I should have, but it’s okay because sometimes we fall for a bit but if we are really passionate about something we will find our way back to it.
So life has been… Well life. I mean the one thing I have come to understand and understand well is that my attitude isn’t always the best. So because of that I’m going to try to follow the principles in a book that came out years ago “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. So the basic premise is positive thinking, at least part of it. I can tell you all of it because I’m only on chapter one but in my mind it’s a resetting of our mind set. We have gotten used to so much bad in world that we are conditioned to think negative before we think positive.
Well I’m challenging myself to think better now, to have that child like innocence that says everything is going to be okay and everything is going to work out. I think that having that feelings makes things just feel better even when they aren’t. I have already begun to see a difference in my personality with this thinking and it has only been a few days. So whatever it is, I’m all for it because I love having a smile on my face.
Peace and Love,
PS Do you think it’s possible to have it all?
I already know that I am a queen. I love saying that word about myself. I hope all women feel that way about themselves because as the saying goes… “we are the life givers”! So we should know that we are all royal.
So with all that being said, I think from now on I’m going to be all about making sure my emotional state is completely taken care of by me. This is the year of me. I’ve proven how much I am capable of loving others and putting others ahead of me. I will never regret that nor will I stop doing that. I will be more careful in the future but I realize that that’s part of who I am. Though for now, it’s about making me happy. Now I won’t be doing it in a way that will put others down because that’s not very queenly, that’s not very womanly and all woman should be able to love themselves without putting others down.
So let me an example and if you see me acting like anything other than a Queen, please let me know!
Peace and Love,